AVENGERS

The YouTube clips of it I seen were pretty hot. But I dont care to go to the movies much. I must not be alone. On my newsfeed below (and elsewhere) it says that only 5% of the nations population attend movies frequently. I probably go to 1 a year. Maybe 2. Sometimes I go 1-2 years without going to the movies. I prefer watching movies in my home. If its ever on tv or I ever get a hold of the movie, I'll watch it. But as it is, I can live without seeing it.

I know df1 seen it. I think he liked it.

I know I'm late to the scene with this and a lot of superhero movies. I don't make it a point to go out and watch these movies but I do catch them when the opportunity presents itself. So, I had a great deal of glee and anticipation when it came being able to watch the Avengers.

To sum this review up immediately, I'll start by saying after hearing all the hype about how good this movie was, I'd have to say it was one of the MOST disappointing movies I've seen from the Marvel arsenal. You don't have to read any more of my review. I was totally disappointed with this flick.

Where do I begin? I watched it with this girl I seen Thor with, which I would say was a much more enjoyable movie than this in terms of story and even that started a bit flat for me, but picked up very nicely as it progressed.

The Avengers once again produced this Marvel formula I've seen a few times now where they drop you in the middle of a moment and then leave you to put all the pieces together throughout the movie. In the meantime, every character talks like an uber-nerd overtechnicalizing every damn thing they say. And to make matters worse, the plot could only be followed by the most ardent follower. I got 30 minutes into and looked at the girl and said "I'm confused". And she was like...."If you're confused, think how I feel".

Sure, as the movie progressed, there was enough to feel like you had a mini plot there. But there was never any meat to it. Furthermore, having Loki as the main villain fresh off his Thor villain role was a waste of a villain slot to me. How about someone cool like Ultron or someone iconic? Loki is almost strictly a Thor relegated villain. And I don't know about you. Loki has his place in Marvel history, but I'd always consider him to be a second tier villain at best. It was a letdown that he was the main only bad guy. Except his Asgardian? Backup. And they seemed pretty lame too. Cool in concept. But lets take the best part of this movie. Let me go ahead and say....yes, the action and the special effects were way above average. I'll give you that. The problem was the 30-45 minute action scenes at the end which should have been so cool had virtually no build up at all. It was just mindless fighting upon endless mindless fighting. Until this floating...what was that? A Spleen? WTF was that? Until that comes flying around and this otherwordly opening keeps sending down semi-cool droids. There just wasn't any suspense or build up of what was going on. It was mindless.

And no, I don't think the Hulk is better suited in a side role such as this. I think his scenes may have stole the show. But he wasn't enough. I don't think Iron Man is suited for a role like this. I grew tired of seeing head shots of Robert Downey in his Iron Man suit spewing out 1 liners throughout the movie. If anything, this movie made his schtick seem tired and getting old. I don't think Thor was better served in this movie. He was much better in his own movie battling the Destroyer. He almost seemed like a prop in this movie. And Captain America. OMG! That was the gayest uniform I've ever seen! He looked like a faggot in a jumpsuit for most of his scenes. His shield is cool, but his uniform and masked looked like pure SHIT!!! And Hawkeye....is there anybody that was more wooden than that guy? Talk about no personality in the WHOLE movie! I'll give props to the Black Widow looking like herself and being well played. But I won't stretch this to other players. Samuel Jackson as Nick Fury was okay. But it does bother me he had to be black and ultimately, I never got a bad ass feeling from him. Does anybody realize that Nick Fury aka SGT FURY was a pretty kick ass dude? Nick Fury in this one, is just a captain of a ship. A Captain Kirk if you will. A second rate one at that.

This is a pattern I see with Marvel Movies. I personally think they shine in the single character movies. But these group movies like X-Men and now this, the Avengers. It's a struggle to watch! They have too many characters underdeveloped and not worth caring about. And not giving you any feeling you want to care about them. Top it off with a story ONLY GEEKS COULD ENJOY! THIS MEANS YOU MIKE! (BIGW). It led to a movie that to me....blew!

And I don't want to hear this Bullshit that I'm not smart enough to figure things out as they were clearly presented. That movie expected you to care about some kind of half assed thrown together story and like it. Whereas other Marvel movies have given you characters and situations to care about and led you from start to finish on a story that built up in drama and intensity. The Avengers DROPPED you in the middle of something and made you play detective trying to figure out what the fuck was going on throughout the movie and hopefully by the end you'd be knowing enough to care. Well, I knew enough to have a decent idea what was going on but to be honest, it was never enough to make me care. I was bored watching this. Flat out bored.

This was nerdtacular. I realize I wasn't nerd enough to enjoy this. Just because you throw my favorite type of characters on the big screen and have them in action scenes that was admittedly full of eye candy. The idea was when I got to the action scenes at the end, I was expected to just let my brain go in park and enjoy the ride visually. Im sorry. It just wasn't enough for me.

We both agreed the best scene in the Movie was Loki being slammed by the Hulk. Truly a laugh out loud moment. Problem is, I already seen it in Youtube video clips. That was the best scene in the movie!

You know what the most exciting scene was? Seeing Thanos after the credits. Why the hell couldn't he have been in THIS Avengers movie instead of retreading Loki here? This was underwhelming.

Let me sum this up the way it felt to me.

It felt like I was watching the current state of comic books. It felt like I was watching some mini-series of comics that had virtually no relationship to the rest of their history. It was uninspired and thrown together in a way that reminded me of Image United. Make a fight and let your characters run around and just because it is there in front of you in a way you havent seen before (As the Avengers on the big screen) the fans won't care if there is a story there thats worthy of non-regular comic fans caring about it. I am convinced other than eye candy, this movie did nothing to make people who didn't care about comics before this, care about it afterwards.

In my opinion, not only was this movie nerdtacular.

It was craptacular.

I get it man. The problem is, who else is supposed to get all of this? It's just us comic nerds that had a real shot at this. And I just don't think they did a good job of presenting things and developing characters. It felt very pretentious throughout the movie. Which I think it was supposed to to help show they become teammates in the end. But all the overblown technical talk throughout the movie. Good God! At one point Captain America asks Iron Man to speak English. That was 80% into the movie! They had all been talking that way throughout the movie.

Visually, I give it that it was one of the best. But that fight scene was lllllooooonnnnggg and I didn't feel it going anywhere. I swear when Iron Man went through the portal, I said "we just witnessed penetration". It just felt cheesy as hell. High tech cheesy yes. But cheesy nontheless.

And I do think the guy who play Loki does a damn good job of playing Loki. I do! But he just came off the Thor movie as one of the main villains. Here he is again here as the main villain. It's like he was in 1 too many too quick. Either take him out of this or take him out of the Thor movie and his performance in either would have been even better. But back to back like this? He seemed weak to be taking on the Avengers. Hell, it took his backups to make him lethal. That and his staff. The Hulk took care of him in 5 seconds by himself. And that's the way I feel about Loki. He should be no match. True, the other guys were the match. But what the hell was up with that??? They barely bothered to build that side up.

It just felt mindless to me. Once the fighting started, it was like they had the floating spleen, and the droids from the portal. Iron Man goes into the womb. Game Over. Really?

I just think they haven't gotten the hang of group movies yet. Fantastic Four is probably about as many as you want and they work well as a collective unit to be one group story. These Avengers just seemed like 60% of what we would have experienced if they were in a movie by themselves. And that was it with me.

I enjoyed Hulk better than this.

I enjoyed Iron Man better than this.

I enjoyed Thor better than this.

It's just better developed. Easier to follow. Easier for those who don't know comics to care. The girl I was with was like, dang, I really thought this was going to be good. She had only a vague understanding about what was happening. She was bored too.

I hear that DC is making a Justice League movie and I'm curious if they can pull off the group concept. X-Men has been hit and miss.

I haven't seen Captain America. I wanted to. But I'm hearing it was bad. The girl I was with said she turned that one off because she could never get into it.

I think the Spider-Man movies that I have seen for the most part have been good.

I haven't seen Ghost Rider and I've only seen bits of Daredevil. I'm just thinking this was not what everyone made it out to be. If you and a group of us comic nerds go and watch it, it might be good to us. Maybe. But bring a date, your mom, your kids to it. They may enjoy the visual eye candy like the rest of us, but are they really going to follow this story like it should be?

I just think this was by nerds, for nerds and maybe in those terms, it succeeded. But I expected more of a story where I could give a damn about these characters. I thought Black Widow kicked ass. I thought Hulk was cool. I thought non head shots of Iron Man was pretty nice. I thought Cap was gay. Hawkman, yes, a zombie under a trance but still. Nick Fury....pfft.

On a scale from 1-10, I give it a 3-4. And that is mainly for the effects which I will say were spectacular. But just kinda mindless if you ask me.

Maybe if I seen it before or during when everyone else did, I might have had a better feeling. I might have been more like woah! But I seen it after everyone said it was great. And I'm sorry. I was bored.

I'll give it an 8 or a 9 on the visuals alone too. Hey, I'll fully admit it was the best part of it. There was some stunning visuals throughout. But I just couldn't get into the story and overall, I'd keep my rating for the movie as a whole around a 3 or a 4. I just expected something better. Hulk kicking ass was cool. I just didn't have any love for this story. It's okay if you liked it. I'm okay with that. I didn't like it. No big deal. Just didn't get out of it what you did.

Wish I did honestly.