Post by G on Nov 23, 2010 2:02:56 GMT -5
These are the things I hear on a day to day basis from my semi - racist/sexist asian housemate.
"I think my nutsack is extra baggy or my balls are huge because my nuts always get stuck between my legs."
18 Nov
"I want to smell a pregnant strippers vagina. I wanna smell what babies smell like."
16 Nov
"If I have a child and he is gay, I'm gonna beat him with a baseball bat. IMMA BEAT THE GAY OUTTA HIM! WHABAAMMM!"
16 Nov
"After taking this class all I ever think is look at that terrorist. Muslim. They aren't even nigras anymore."
16 Nov
"I love sucking on the clitoris with ONE nostril."
9 Nov
"I like utereses. I like putting quarters in them."
9 Nov
"I'm not tryina fuck a girl with my foreskin.. Just with my cock. It's kind of hard."
6 Nov
"Yeah, her face is alright. But her ass? I'd poke it with a spoon. A fork is a tad too violent."
4 Nov F
"Man, women are gross. After they have kids and are like 60-70 they have to be put in a nursing home because their vaginas are all saggy."-E
28 Oct
"Yeah, thats right Mark! Niggas got a big dick." - Eric talking about Mark's movie review
28 Oct
"Pansy. Women. VAGINAL SECRETIONS BOY!" - E
7 Oct
"Multiple fingers would go in there." -E "The first one?" - T "Nah, it doesn't matter." - E
5 Oct
"You would get a blow job from her? Ewww, she hangs out with muslims."
4 Oct
"Whenever I beat off before I go to bed....I'm fucking done."
11 Jul
"If I fail this final I'm gonna kill him. And then skeet on him. Fucker."
5 May
"GOD DAMN FUCKER! I WILL SKEET ON HIS LAST BORNE GRANDCHILD, BASTARD!"
5 May
"Get outta here La Quuuan. Where my mother fuckin' calculator at?!"
24 Mar
"There ain't nuthin' wrong with no cock nikka. It's all about a cock. Cock on the ground. Cock all around."
17 Mar
"You know that shits hot when its bubbly." - about boiling water.
17 Feb
"Nigga, I'm washing my diick with axeeeee."
16 Feb
"You're a bastard, and you smell like cornfish."
13 Feb
"I wonder if you can get medical marijuana for getting buttfucked in jail."
13 Feb
"Wait, go back four facebook photos? That indian girl...is she with him? Yep, he's fingering her."
13 Feb
"I love gaping vaginas. I can't do it personally, but I like them."
11 Feb
"Bruce Lee squeals like a god damned jackrabbit."
14 Jan
"Nigga, I got more foreskin than cock."
17 Dec
"Concrete jungles where monkeys live at." - E "Because they're black?" -T "No, it is because monkeys live in jungles, like black people." -E
14 Dec
"I just had a dream where a big ass black girl showed us her tits while we were studying organic."
14 Dec
Do latino girls smell like tacos? Because asian girls kinda smell like fried rice."
8 Dec
"I don't know what to do with myself over break. All I do is work, beat off, and drink."
8 Dec
"God...I hate estrogen."
3 Dec
"It smells like vagina jungles!"
3 Dec
"That's what I need: a nasty homo. Someone to lick my butthole."
28 Nov
"Aww gross. That's not supposed to be arousing. He bumped his buttcheeks into my nuts, like little juju beans."
24 Nov
"Roller coaster favorite ride, your vagina smells like shrimp fried rice, goodbye." - Eric [to the tune of Blink 182, Rollercoaster]
22 Nov 09
"Gosh, her boobs are so nice." - Me "Whose, Miley Cyrus's?" - Eric "No, Heather Grahams..." - Me
22 Nov 09
"Where my other cock?"
20 Nov 09
"My pussy feels like stones."
16 Nov 09
"I love french girls. All they do is smoke cigarettes, drink nice wine, and suck a lot of dick. Oh yeah, they french kiss too."
10 Nov 09
"For breakfast today I had a bagel and a nine inch black schlong. Wait, I mean a banana."
3 Nov 09
"Imma premake cheese sandwiches for breakfast with this bread. Then imma fuckin' beat off with it."
3 Nov 09
"I want head, head for my birthday."
3 Nov 09
"Man, if I had a hummer I could beat off with a girl sitting next to me. The girl could be fucking granny smith....eatin' an apple!"
3 Nov 09
"My spit always comes out of my mouth looking like a sperm. That's actually how I impregnate ladies, I spit in their vajays." - Eric
21 Oct 09
"Dude, I can't wear a magnum, you kidding me? That's like a fucking tube sock on my dick..I mean what the fuck?" - Eric
18 Oct 09
"I can sit down and write a paper"-Me "I can't. Well, maybe if I had read more when I was younger, instead of just playing with my dick."-E.
13 Oct 09
"Our waitress is real cute an' nice. I just want to wrap her up like a burrito. Mmmm."
13 Oct 09
"Animal sex? I love chipmunk sex. It's hot when a guy sticks his dick through from the mouth out the ass. Like a little chipmunk kabob."
7 Oct 09
"I love this show!" - Me. "Is it about whores? I fucking love whores. Fat whores are the fucking best." - Eric
6 Oct 09
"Man, getting head is great because you don't have to do anything. You can sit and smoke a cigarette or read the newspaper, fuck yes." -Eric
6 Oct 09
"Cuz if I go to the game, I'll probably drink a little." -Eric "Study after you drink a little." - Me "Well, a little might be a lot" -Eric
2 Oct 09
"If I was alone in a desert with a camel or a snake, I wouldn't waste time with the snake, I would stick my dick in the camel's mouth."
2 Oct 09
"I don't think I could date someone with the same last name as me." - Forrest "Why not? You could go 'Imma fuck the McCabe outta ya!'"- Eric
30 Sep 09
"Gosh, that cheese is soo good." - Me. "All cheeses are so good" - Greg. "Even dick cheese!" - Eric
23 Sep 09
I like biology, I like knowing how and why my dick gets hard.
18 Sep 09
"LETS GO FUCKER! I got 4 fingers in a cast to shove it up your ass."
15 Sep 09
After coming out of the bathroom: "Damn, my dick is exceptionally scrawny right now."
15 Sep 09
"Dude, my balls itch, just my underdick though. You know, the part between your dick and your nuts. Oh yes, it is inflamed."
15 Sep 09
"Yeah, she took forever though" - Alex. "Did you slap her in her titty and be like nikka, give me my bagels?" - Eric
10 Sep 09
"I fell asleep in the library today." - Dimitra "If I saw you sleeping in the library I would totally rape you." - Eric
10 Sep 09
"My reading and writing scores on the SAT almost qualified me to be black."
8 Sep 09
"The day I have found a women that likes it when I throw up on her is the day I have found my wife."
7 Sep 09
*After I have tossed a pingpong ball away* - "Nikka, imma make you pick that up with yo buttcheeks, biotch."
7 Sep 09
She's one of those redheaded whores that would suck your soul out.
31 Aug 09
"Why don't you just read while you beat?"- Me "Tried it once man, differential equations just doesn't get you horny enough" - Eric
31 Aug 09
I wish I had my own house so I could just set my hookah down right in the middle, chief on it for 20 minutes, and then fuckin' beat off.
"I think my nutsack is extra baggy or my balls are huge because my nuts always get stuck between my legs."
18 Nov
"I want to smell a pregnant strippers vagina. I wanna smell what babies smell like."
16 Nov
"If I have a child and he is gay, I'm gonna beat him with a baseball bat. IMMA BEAT THE GAY OUTTA HIM! WHABAAMMM!"
16 Nov
"After taking this class all I ever think is look at that terrorist. Muslim. They aren't even nigras anymore."
16 Nov
"I love sucking on the clitoris with ONE nostril."
9 Nov
"I like utereses. I like putting quarters in them."
9 Nov
"I'm not tryina fuck a girl with my foreskin.. Just with my cock. It's kind of hard."
6 Nov
"Yeah, her face is alright. But her ass? I'd poke it with a spoon. A fork is a tad too violent."
4 Nov F
"Man, women are gross. After they have kids and are like 60-70 they have to be put in a nursing home because their vaginas are all saggy."-E
28 Oct
"Yeah, thats right Mark! Niggas got a big dick." - Eric talking about Mark's movie review
28 Oct
"Pansy. Women. VAGINAL SECRETIONS BOY!" - E
7 Oct
"Multiple fingers would go in there." -E "The first one?" - T "Nah, it doesn't matter." - E
5 Oct
"You would get a blow job from her? Ewww, she hangs out with muslims."
4 Oct
"Whenever I beat off before I go to bed....I'm fucking done."
11 Jul
"If I fail this final I'm gonna kill him. And then skeet on him. Fucker."
5 May
"GOD DAMN FUCKER! I WILL SKEET ON HIS LAST BORNE GRANDCHILD, BASTARD!"
5 May
"Get outta here La Quuuan. Where my mother fuckin' calculator at?!"
24 Mar
"There ain't nuthin' wrong with no cock nikka. It's all about a cock. Cock on the ground. Cock all around."
17 Mar
"You know that shits hot when its bubbly." - about boiling water.
17 Feb
"Nigga, I'm washing my diick with axeeeee."
16 Feb
"You're a bastard, and you smell like cornfish."
13 Feb
"I wonder if you can get medical marijuana for getting buttfucked in jail."
13 Feb
"Wait, go back four facebook photos? That indian girl...is she with him? Yep, he's fingering her."
13 Feb
"I love gaping vaginas. I can't do it personally, but I like them."
11 Feb
"Bruce Lee squeals like a god damned jackrabbit."
14 Jan
"Nigga, I got more foreskin than cock."
17 Dec
"Concrete jungles where monkeys live at." - E "Because they're black?" -T "No, it is because monkeys live in jungles, like black people." -E
14 Dec
"I just had a dream where a big ass black girl showed us her tits while we were studying organic."
14 Dec
Do latino girls smell like tacos? Because asian girls kinda smell like fried rice."
8 Dec
"I don't know what to do with myself over break. All I do is work, beat off, and drink."
8 Dec
"God...I hate estrogen."
3 Dec
"It smells like vagina jungles!"
3 Dec
"That's what I need: a nasty homo. Someone to lick my butthole."
28 Nov
"Aww gross. That's not supposed to be arousing. He bumped his buttcheeks into my nuts, like little juju beans."
24 Nov
"Roller coaster favorite ride, your vagina smells like shrimp fried rice, goodbye." - Eric [to the tune of Blink 182, Rollercoaster]
22 Nov 09
"Gosh, her boobs are so nice." - Me "Whose, Miley Cyrus's?" - Eric "No, Heather Grahams..." - Me
22 Nov 09
"Where my other cock?"
20 Nov 09
"My pussy feels like stones."
16 Nov 09
"I love french girls. All they do is smoke cigarettes, drink nice wine, and suck a lot of dick. Oh yeah, they french kiss too."
10 Nov 09
"For breakfast today I had a bagel and a nine inch black schlong. Wait, I mean a banana."
3 Nov 09
"Imma premake cheese sandwiches for breakfast with this bread. Then imma fuckin' beat off with it."
3 Nov 09
"I want head, head for my birthday."
3 Nov 09
"Man, if I had a hummer I could beat off with a girl sitting next to me. The girl could be fucking granny smith....eatin' an apple!"
3 Nov 09
"My spit always comes out of my mouth looking like a sperm. That's actually how I impregnate ladies, I spit in their vajays." - Eric
21 Oct 09
"Dude, I can't wear a magnum, you kidding me? That's like a fucking tube sock on my dick..I mean what the fuck?" - Eric
18 Oct 09
"I can sit down and write a paper"-Me "I can't. Well, maybe if I had read more when I was younger, instead of just playing with my dick."-E.
13 Oct 09
"Our waitress is real cute an' nice. I just want to wrap her up like a burrito. Mmmm."
13 Oct 09
"Animal sex? I love chipmunk sex. It's hot when a guy sticks his dick through from the mouth out the ass. Like a little chipmunk kabob."
7 Oct 09
"I love this show!" - Me. "Is it about whores? I fucking love whores. Fat whores are the fucking best." - Eric
6 Oct 09
"Man, getting head is great because you don't have to do anything. You can sit and smoke a cigarette or read the newspaper, fuck yes." -Eric
6 Oct 09
"Cuz if I go to the game, I'll probably drink a little." -Eric "Study after you drink a little." - Me "Well, a little might be a lot" -Eric
2 Oct 09
"If I was alone in a desert with a camel or a snake, I wouldn't waste time with the snake, I would stick my dick in the camel's mouth."
2 Oct 09
"I don't think I could date someone with the same last name as me." - Forrest "Why not? You could go 'Imma fuck the McCabe outta ya!'"- Eric
30 Sep 09
"Gosh, that cheese is soo good." - Me. "All cheeses are so good" - Greg. "Even dick cheese!" - Eric
23 Sep 09
I like biology, I like knowing how and why my dick gets hard.
18 Sep 09
"LETS GO FUCKER! I got 4 fingers in a cast to shove it up your ass."
15 Sep 09
After coming out of the bathroom: "Damn, my dick is exceptionally scrawny right now."
15 Sep 09
"Dude, my balls itch, just my underdick though. You know, the part between your dick and your nuts. Oh yes, it is inflamed."
15 Sep 09
"Yeah, she took forever though" - Alex. "Did you slap her in her titty and be like nikka, give me my bagels?" - Eric
10 Sep 09
"I fell asleep in the library today." - Dimitra "If I saw you sleeping in the library I would totally rape you." - Eric
10 Sep 09
"My reading and writing scores on the SAT almost qualified me to be black."
8 Sep 09
"The day I have found a women that likes it when I throw up on her is the day I have found my wife."
7 Sep 09
*After I have tossed a pingpong ball away* - "Nikka, imma make you pick that up with yo buttcheeks, biotch."
7 Sep 09
She's one of those redheaded whores that would suck your soul out.
31 Aug 09
"Why don't you just read while you beat?"- Me "Tried it once man, differential equations just doesn't get you horny enough" - Eric
31 Aug 09
I wish I had my own house so I could just set my hookah down right in the middle, chief on it for 20 minutes, and then fuckin' beat off.
