I belong to this group called 757 comic and Cartoon creators. We are in the early stages of putting together an Anthology book that will have contributions from creators living in the 757 area code.
I am going to write and Illustrate and color and letter a 10 page crime and punishment type of story.
The story because of its length is basically a scene that I have stretched to include a number of quick cut scenes within it.
Anyhow, here is the script I will be doing. It has already been approved and I will show pages when I complete them.
I hope you like it. comments are welcome.
Last Caress
By: Mike Wedmer
March 11, 2010
Page 1
Panel 1: Splash page. Camera angle low, of a young guy sitting against a wall in a garage he has been shot in the stomach. One hand covers the wound which has covered most of his shirt and part of the floor in blood. His head is tilted to the side and his other hand is reaching towards his phone which is lying on the floor near him.
CAPTION: They say that your life flashes before you when you’re going to die.
CAPTION: That’s not really true. Sure you see some strong points in your life. Those memories are there.
CAPTION: But the memories you see the most, Well those are the ones that lead to this. They just keep playing over and over again.
CAPTION: Presented in widescreen with full rewind and everything.
CAPTION: But the one memory that sticks out is when she put her hand on my cheek and made me a promise.
CAPTION: It was that last touch, that…
TITLE: LAST CARESS
Page 2:
Panel 1: Close up of the guy and his woman. Her hand is on his cheek and her lips are near his. This is the focus we do not see their eyes.
Woman: I swear to you baby, if you do this we can always be together. There is even some Insurance money. We could take off to the Bahamas
CAPTION: Her hot breath in my ear makes me shiver.
Panel 2: Very close up of a kiss. Just show the lips. Sexy, female lips that are full and alluring.
Woman: You’d like that. Wouldn’t you baby?
CAPTION: Her lips taste like Strawberries.
Panel 3: Large panel that fills the bottom 2/3’s of the page. Show the guy sitting in almost the same position as he is on page 1 but have a very hot woman straddled across him with her face buried in his neck. His face is a state of bliss. They are on a hotel bed.
CAPTION: And the things she does to me.
CAPTION: I can’t remember if I even said anything.
Page 3:
Panel 1: Guy is in a food court in a mall sitting alone. He notices a woman across the court from him staring at him. She is good looking, with a bag on the table and a soda cup in her hand.
CAPTION: I remember when we met.
CAPTION: I was grabbing lunch when I noticed this hot woman staring at me. Was she checking me out?
Panel 2: Close up of the woman. She is looking right at us and smiling. Her straw is on her tongue.
CAPTION: I couldn’t believe my luck.
Panel 3: Show the woman setting her bag on the guys table. He is sitting there just looking up at her kind of dumbstruck. Show that expression on his face.
CAPTION: Becca was awesome. 31 years old and smokin’! We hit it off right away.
CAPTION: Before her, I had only gotten as far as 3rd base with a couple of girls.
Panel 4: Hotel room: interior. Show Becca in Silhouette removing her top in the foreground while the guy is sitting on a couch with his shirt off. He has baggy low hanging jeans on.
CAPTION: But with Becca it wasn’t an issue. After a couple of days she was all about it.
Panel 5: Outdoor scene Show them sitting on a hillside with other people around flying kites and such.
They are eating Ice cream.
CAPTION: She said all the right things. I felt good around her.
CAPTION: The first Month was like…magical or something.
Panel 6: Close up of the guy. He looks happy. He is smiling from ear to ear. The sky is blue with clouds behind him.
CAPTION: That was when I knew. When I knew that I loved her.
Page 4:
Panel 1: Back in the food court again. Show a different angle this time. Guy is sitting alone and his cell phone is on the table. Show people walking around the area.
CAPTION: I didn’t hear from her for a week. No calls. No texts. No nothing.
Panel 2: guy is at a magazine rack in a bookstore when he sees Becca walk past the store wearing a hat and sunglasses.
CAPTION: Then out of nowhere one day…
Panel 3: Over the shoulder shot where we see the girl turning towards guy and us.
CAPTION: I remember catching up to her and asking what the deal was.
CAPTION: Then she took off her glasses.
PANEL 4: Show Becca looking downward trying to hide her black eye.
CAPTION: Yeah, that would have been when I found out she was married.
Panel 5: Show the two of them in the middle of the mall hallway outside the bookstore. They are smaller in the center of the panel with people walking around them.
CAPTION: Apparently three and a half years to some Merchant Marine dude.
CAPTION: Rick.
CAPTION: Who drinks a lot and usually does worse than the eye when he’s home.
Panel 6: Over the shoulder shot behind girl. Showing guy with a scowl on his face and his shoulders tensed.
CAPTION: Rick the prick.
Page 5:
Panel 1: Establish the outside of some dive hotel near a highway. This panel goes across the top third of the page.
CAPTION: We meet in secret for the next few weeks at various places.
CAPTION: The more she tells me about him, the more I hate the idea of her being there.
Panel 2: They are lying in bed in the darkened room. Light comes in between the curtains her head is on his chest and he is staring straight ahead.
CAPTION: I tell her I don’t want her going back. She says she wishes we could just be together.
Panel 3: Show the girl. Her head is still on his upper body, her eyes looking up at him. Make the eyes bright.
CAPTION: That was when she suggested that we kill him.
Panel 4: Show them sitting on the hotel bed talking both naked but tasteful viewpoint.
CAPTION: By the time she gets done explaining it to me, it seems like the logical thing to do.
CAPTION: So I agree.
Panel 5: Show them having sex by using their shadows reflected on the wall.
CAPTION: And the things she does to me.
Panel 6: Show guy tucking a pistol in his waistband. In the background show a door with steam coming from under it.
CAPTION: So the other day I swiped my friend johns gun from his sock drawer.
Page 6: Show guy from inside of a car. He is looking out the window at a garage with a couple of broken down cars around it and a fence and large open field behind it with more broken down cars.
CAPTION: Becca told me about this garage that he has where he will work on his hot rod and drink his beers.
CAPTION: Usually before he comes home and works on her.
Panel 2: Show guy sneaking up to the garage from the side with the gun out. We can see Rick in the garage but he is bent over the engine of a car.
CAPTION: Becca and I planned it all out.
CAPTION: Really, it would be a piece of cake.
PANEL 3: Show guy up against the side of the garage with the gun up and about to go around the corner.
CAPTION: It would be just like the games. I would just come around the corner and pop off a headshot on him.
CAPTION: Yeah. I may even teabag the bitch.
CAPTION: Its go time.
Panel 4: Show guy bursting into the garage with the gun raised.
We are behind Rick. He is a big guy with a t-shirt on and coveralls tied at the waist. He has his hands up with a wrench in his hand.
CAPTION: I remember I went in screaming bloody murder.
Rick: what the fu…
Panel 5: Close up of guy with a twisted look on his face and the gun in his hands ready to go.
CAPTION: But I couldn’t pull the trigger. I wanted to-
CAPTION: -but my finger didn’t.
Panel 6: Overhead shot, of Guy pointing the gun at Rick.
So I just screamed at him about hitting Becca.
Page 7:
Panel 1: Close up of Rick with a smirk on his face.
Rick: Oh, ok. I get it now.
Panel 2: Behind Guy. Rick throws the wrench and hits him in the head dazing him.
CAPTION: I was shocked at how fast he was for such a big guy.
Panel 3: Rick snatches the gun from guy’s hand.
Guy: Hey!
Panel 3: Side view: Rick has Guy up against the wall. Guy’s gun is in his hand.
Rick: You’re the guy my old lady’s been doing. Nice Gun.
You know, my daddy always told me Son, if you’re gonna point a gun at someone-
Panel 4: Over guys shoulder. We see Rick shoot him.
Rick: -You best plan on shooting him.
SFX: BANG!
Panel 5: Overhead behind Rick as he pistol whips Guy, knocking him to the floor.
Panel 6: View is at floor level showing Ricks work boots and lower legs with the legs of a stool that he is lifting in foreground. Guy is on the floor like last panel.
Rick: Hell, the funny thing is-
Page 8
Panel 1: Down shot Wide panel of Rick setting the chair down reversed, in front of Guy. Establish more of the garage. It’s dirty and stained and not very organized.
Rick: -You’re not the first one she tried this with. Nope. Not the first at all.
Panel 2: Front view full shot of Rick now seated in the chair with his big arms resting over the back of the chair and the gun dangling from one hand.
Rick: Yeah, about a year ago some other white knight tried to –save her.
Panel 3: Front view of Rick. He is smiling and pointing the gun at his other arms bicep. There is a bullet scar.
Rick: He managed to get a shot off though.
-I hadda beat him to death with my good Torque wrench.
Panel 4: Close up of guys face on the floor. His hair is wet he has blood on his mouth and there is a gash on his cheek.
CAPTION: He’s lying.
Guy: You’re...you’re lying.
Panel 5: View from over Ricks shoulder from the right side. Guy is on the floor in the background, a look of pure horror on his face.
Rick: Hell boy, I got him buried under a Buick out back.
Now you look like a Ford man to me.
Panel 6: close up of Rick with a shark grin on his face he’s looking downward and has the gun loosely pointing towards us.
Rick: I’m right! Ain’t I- hah!
-yeah you’re not the first...
Panel 7: show Rick standing all in shadow looking down. He fills the panel. Blur the background around him.
Rick: But I guarantee that you’re the last.
Page 9
Panel 1: Black panel that is fading towards grayish color as you move towards the right.
CAPTION: I…hear music.
Panel 2: Close up of guys face lying on the floor in a pool of Blood he looks semi conscious.
CAPTION: I know that song. Are you gonna be my girl, by Jet.
CAPTION: Thas-Becca’s- ring tone.
Panel 3: ¾ down shot. Show guy trying to sit up while in a pool of blood. He is leaving a streak along the wall as he sits up. Show the empty chair and make sure it is more blood than the last time we see Guy.
CAPTION: AAAAHHH. –kaff- oh that hurts.
CAPTION: a-right a-right I’m coming. Where’s -phone?
CAPTION: where’d all –koff- this blood come from?
Panel 4: Semi -close up of an iphone lying in the blood. Becca’s picture is on the screen which is smeared with blood.
CAPTION: Ricks gone. Need to…warn her.
CAPTION: He said she tried this before. Was he lying?
Panel 5: Up- shot of guy looking down at the phone in his hand.
CAPTION: Why would he lie? Damn.
CAPTION: Damn! Blood on screen…won’t respond-kaff-kaff- tha…
SFX: BIP!
Panel 6: Wide shot that fills the bottom of the page. Guy is sitting on the lower left of panel he is talking on the phone.
Guy: Hey baby. I-
Becca: Is it done?
Guy: Ricks gone. –I...
Becca: Gone What? You did it? Or gone as in Left the building?
Guy: -KAFF!- Yeah...that one.
-Baby I’m in a ba...
Becca> Screaming: I cannot believe this! You worthless sonofa...
CAPTION: Man.
Guy: Baby I-
Becca: Where is he?
-Where is he!
Page 10
Panel 1: Close up of Guy’s eyes. They are rolling upward.
I’m such...a...
PANEL 2: Show close up of Guys hand lying open in the pool of blood with the phone half in and half out of it. Show Becca’s face on the screen.
Becca: Where - Is - HE?
Panel 3: Large panel, that takes up the rest of the page. Show the same shot exactly from page 1 except have guy a bit more slumped over and the arm down with the phone still on.
Becca: Fine! Don’t answer me. I don’t care what you do.
-I on the other hand am out of here.
SFX: CLICK
THE END